Broken Inside
by ZoeyRedbird25
Summary: Bella is the outcast. Someone no one wants to associate with in school. Especially Edward who is the star football, basketball, and baseball player. Will all that change? A series of events will cause them to make decisions that could change everything between them. CANON Couples. Rated M for later chapters and language throughout. AH
1. Chapter 1

Bella POV

Prologue

Dear Diary,

The time is 2:17 in the morning. I have to get up in less than five hours. It's 2:19, and I just cut myself three times. I don't feel it. The scissors slicing into my soft skin. I don't feel the pain that should be associated with it. It doesn't cause nor take away any of the pain I am feeling. So, I want to do it again. And again. And again. I don't know how much longer I can fight this off. I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be okay. In reality, I'm far from it. I can feel myself slipping away. Slowly losing focus and falling to rock bottom all over again…

Bella Swan

Bella POV

Chapter 1

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. I groaned, rolled over, and slammed my hand onto my alarm effectively turning it off. I buried my face back into the pillow. I didn't want to get up and get ready for school. I didn't want to hide my scars. I didn't want to have to face everyone's harsh words at school. And I especially didn't want to deal with the stares that would most likely follow me around all day. But I knew if I waited any longer I'd be late for class, and that would just result in more staring and whispers.

I sighed and sat up, stretching my arms above my head. I got up and walked to the bathroom connected to my bedroom. Charlie had put it in when I moved here a year ago from Jacksonville, Florida. He felt I needed my own for privacy reasons. I showered quickly and brushed my teeth while allowing my hair to air dry a little before I just shook it out. I applied a smoky line of black eye liner around my eyes and then threw a little mascara onto my lashes. I looked at my damp wavy hair and minimal make-up. The corners of my mouth twitched up into a small smile.

I walked back into my bedroom and grabbed a black long sleeve sweater and pulled it on overtop of my black camisole. I grabbed a light wash pair of jeans and then threw on black ballet flats to finish my look. I grabbed my book bag and slung it over my right shoulder and walked down the stairs.

Charlie was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. He glanced up when he heard my footsteps and smiled at me. "Morning, Bells."

"Mornin' Dad." I forced a smile his way before grabbing a Pop-Tart and leaning against the counter. I sighed and began to nibble on it. I loved my dad, don't get me wrong. He is just so oblivious to what is going on with me, sometimes it hurts. It hurts to think he doesn't see what I'm going through. I scowled at the pop-tart, suddenly not feeling very hungry anymore. I threw the rest of it into the garbage can and grabbed my keys from the counter. "I'm going to head to school early. See ya when you get home, Dad!" I yelled as I walked out the front door.

I walked to my ancient looking truck and ran my hand across the hood as I made my way to the driver's side. I opened the door and slid in, started it and smiled when she didn't stall like she normally did. I let out a sigh of relief and pulled out of the driveway and made my way to Forks High School.

Forks was a small town. And by small, I do mean small. Forks High had a staggering three hundred and fifty-eight students. It just made it easier for everyone to know everybody's business.

I pulled into the nearly empty parking lot. I leaned my head against the seat and closed my eyes. I wanted to bask in the silence and normalcy I had here in my truck for just a few more moments before subjecting myself to the craziness I would endure inside. I tried not to think about how the moment I opened my door, Mike Newton was more than likely going to try and ask me out. Again. I tried not to think about James standing by my locker and demanding we try and talk things out. Again. I tried not to think about the looks I would undoubtablely receive from Lauren, Jessica, and the rest of the hags from hell. Obviously I wasn't doing a very good job of not thinking about those things.

I heard more doors begin to close and sighed. When I opened my eyes, I saw the parking lot was almost full now and grabbed my bag. I better not waste any more time if I was going to have to deal with people before classes today. I opened my door and stepped out. When I slammed the door behind me, little rust flakes drifted silently down to the ground. I ran a hand through my now mostly dry hair and looked around for any signs of Newton. I didn't see him, but that didn't mean he wasn't lurking somewhere.

I started to make my way towards the front doors when I heard the squeal of breaks. I didn't have to turn around to know who that belonged to. I looked up to see Emmett McCarty sitting in his jeep with Edward Cullen in the passenger side. I was standing in the middle of their usual parking spot. I turned from them, shaking my head. I was in no way going socialize with those two. I rushed out of the way and glance over my shoulder to see their friend Jasper Whitlock climbing out of the back seat.

Emmett, Edward, and Jasper were sort of popular. Oh, who am I kidding? They were _the_ popular kids. They all played football in the fall. In the winter Jasper and Edward played basketball while Emmett wrestled. Then in the spring, Edward played baseball. You could say those three covered about every major sport here in Forks. Everyone loved them. And I do mean everyone. Girls were constantly throwing themselves at those guys. Well, more Edward then Emmett or Jasper. But that was only because those two had girlfriends. Both of which were cheerleaders. Go figure.

I shook my head. I was not going to even denote a minute of my thoughts to those jerks. When I rounded the corner to my locker, I wasn't surprised to see James leaning against it. His arms were crossed over his chest and his head was leaning back against the lockers. His eyes were closed. Seeing him like this reminded me why I had dated him in the first place. He had been kind and gentle to me. He treated me like I was something special. But, then I found out it was all just a game for him. I would have to face him sooner or later today. Might as well get it over with.

I walked up to him and poked his arm gently. "James, please move. I have to get my books." His eyes shot open and he looked down to me. I knew I surprised him. Usually I scream at him to move and leave and never talk to me again. But that didn't seem to be working, so I changed my tactic today.

He pushed himself off of the lockers and stood there looking at me. "Bella, I-"

"Don't. Please. Just don't, James." I cut him off. I couldn't even look at him. I didn't want to because the moment I looked at him would be the moment I gave in and got back with him. "James what you did to me, it… it really hurt me. You broke my trust. And you are never going to earn it back." I grabbed my books out of my locker and then looked up at him. "I don't want to be with you anymore. Please. Just leave me alone."

His face fell slightly, but then he nodded. "Alright. I got it. I won't bother you again, Bella." He turned and walked away.

I never knew it would be that easy to get him to leave me alone. I never knew it would only take me acting like a normal person. I felt almost bad for acting the way I had towards him… almost. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly while grabbing the books I need for my first class. I wouldn't let myself break down here. No. My breakdown could wait until I got home. I sighed and walked into my English class and slid into my seat towards the back. My eyes immediately focused on the clock. We were discussing Wuthering Heights, one of my favorite novels, and I didn't feel the need to pay much attention. I had read that book so many times, I could recite it from memory.

As the first bell rang, a few students straggled in just before Mr. Mason walked in. I tried to hide my chuckles, I really did, but he looked so ridiculous with his balding head and tweed jacket with leather patches where his elbows were. I had to put my head on my arms, concealing my face from the room and I tried to get my silent laughs under control.

"Alright, class. Settle down. Settle down!" his voice boomed through the small room. I rose my head up and leaned back into my chair. Here we go.

I listened to his lecture drone on and on about Healthcliff and Catherine. Well, I didn't really listen. I actually was on my phone the entire time. Trust me, there was nothing exciting there either. When the bell finally rang, I stood slowly, grabbing my bag and walking out of the room. This is where I slammed into a hard body and flew to the ground. Damn me and my clumsiness.

"Damn it. I'm sorry. I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going…" My voice trailed off when I looked up and saw, none other than, Edward Cullen. My eyes narrowed and I shook my head. "On second thought, I'm not so sorry. I kinda wish you would have fell instead of me." I stood up, without his help thank you, and grabbed my bag off of the ground.

"Jeez, Swan. Didn't know you were such a firecracker." He smiled a crooked half-grin that I supposed worked on about every other girl he's ever talked to to charm his way out of trouble.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, _Cullen_." I turned and walked away from him. Like he was going to have the last word? Hell no. I shook my head and walked straight to my Government class, not even worrying about grabbing my books. I slid into my usual seat and leaned my head back against the chair. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. It was only the beginning of second period and I was already ready for the day to be done.

Lucky for me, the rest of the day flew by without incident. I didn't even hurt anyone in gym. That was a friggin' miracle. As the final bell rang, I walked out towards my truck, twirling my keys around my finger. I wasn't paying much attention to where I was walking, so I shouldn't be surprised that I tripped over the sidewalk crack. I tumbled and scraped both palms of my hands. I cursed under my breath at my own stupidity.

"Jesus, Bella. Can't even walk on the sidewalk without tripping huh?" I knew that shrill voice. It was the voice that has tortured me since the moment I moved here.

I stood up slowly and then looked to Lauren. "Looks like I can't. I'm such a klutz. Jeez. I'm sorry if I inconvenienced you in any way." My voice was laced with sarcasm and she definitely caught onto it.

Her eyes narrowed at me and she lowered her voice. "I'd watch it, Bella. You know I can make your life here a living hell."

"What? Worse than you already are?" I spat in between my laughter. "Right, Lauren. I'd like to see you try." I shook my head and walked away.

"Come on, Bella. We all know you are just a tough exterior. You are just a pansy. No one wants to be around you. That's why you don't have any friends. You are worthless!" Her voice was rising as I continued to walk away from her. I heard her and the rest of the hags from hell snickering and giggling behind me. A few people turned to watch my retreat when they heard Lauren yelling.

I was not going to show any weakness in front of them. I stormed to my car, opening the door and tossing my book bag into the passenger seat. I slammed the door shut and then tried to put the keys into the ignition. My hands were shaking too badly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Calm down. You aren't going to get anywhere if you keep this up." I scolded myself. I took one more deep breath and let it out before trying to put the keys in the ignition again. This time I was successful.

Finally, I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I only lived a few minutes' drive from school. I had to keep the tears at bay until I got home. But, beyond my wishes, my vision began to blur. **_Come on! You are almost home. Keep it together!_** I nodded my head at my internal monologue and quickly pulled into our drive way.

I threw the truck into park and quickly grabbed my book bag and flew into the house. I went straight upstairs to my room, closing the door behind me. I leaned my back against the door, dropping my book bag at my side. I put my hands over my face and tried to stop the tears again. I could hear Lauren's voice in my head repeating over and over again that I was worthless.

I tried to stop myself, I did. I just, I didn't even realize what I was doing until it was already done. I was sitting in my desk chair, my shirt off, and the scissors in my hand. I shook my head slightly from side to side. "No. No, no…" My voice was barely audible.

_I promised myself. I promised I would stop. I tried. Really. I really tried. _

I felt the tears begin to well up and the guilt began to overpower me. Charlie would be so disappointed in me. I don't even know what he would possible think if he saw my arms. What would anyone think if they saw them? I was worthless. I made my way to my bed and collapsed on top of it.

These were the times I wished I had friends. Or a friend. Just someone that accepted me for who I was, and accepted everything that happened to me. I sighed and rolled onto my stomach as my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and a ghost of a smile appeared on my lips. "Hey, you."

His voice was like velvet and I already began to feel better by it. "Hey, are you alright? I heard what Lauren said at the end of the day." His voice sounded strained, like he was worrying about something.

I nodded, and then remembered he couldn't see me. "I'm okay. She just, said things I already thought about myself. It's nothing new." I tried sounding sarcastic, like I didn't care. I knew I didn't fool him though.

"Bella, I hate that you have to go through this. I wish there was something I could do to help…" His voice trailed off because he knew damn well he could do something to help. He just refused to.

"You know there is something you could do to help." I said even though I knew it wouldn't change anything.

"Baby, you know I can't."

I sighed and closed my eyes, getting frustrated with him. "Yes you can. You choose not to. I have to go. I really don't want to fight with you tonight." I waited for his response, when there was none, I shook my head. "Goodbye, Edward." And with that, I hung up the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight! I wish I did, but most of my wishes don't come true!**

Bella POV

I don't know how long I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Long enough, I suppose for Charlie to come home and get worried about me. I hadn't even heard the cruiser pull into the driveway, or the car door close. He knocked on my door jam, causing my eyes to fly open. I quickly jumped underneath the covers to hide myself from him. "Sorry, Bells. I didn't-." He stopped and turned his back to my room. "Will you please put a shirt on so I can talk to you?"

I cracked a small smile and walked over to where I threw my shirt, pulling it on over my head. I then stashed the scissors that were still laying on my desk into a draw. "Okay, Dad. What's going on?" I sat back down on my bed as I said this.

As he turned around to face me again, I noticed he wasn't sporting his usual smile. My eyebrows furrowed and I patted the seat next to me. He let out a breath and then slowly sat down. "Bella, is everything okay?" He finally met my eyes as he let out a breath. "I just, I notice things lately. You not eating as much, and it scares me, Bells."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I could deal with the not eating. But, trying to explain to him that I cut? That's a whole different story. "Dad, I'm just under a bit of stress lately. I have a biology project due at the end of the week, and I'm trying to read Wuthering Heights for English. I'm sorry that I worried you. I promise to be more conscious of what I eat." I smiled what I hoped was a genuine and warm smile.

Apparently it worked because Charlie nodded and then stood up. "Why don't we go to the diner tonight for dinner? You don't look like you're up for cooking tonight. And we both know I'll just end up killing us if I cook."

I actually laughed at his comment. I shook my head at him, still smiling. "Alright. Come on." I stood up and stretched my arms and back before looking down at Charlie. "You coming, old man?" I smirked at his facial expression.

"Old man?" He shook his head, trying to look stern and upset, but the twitch of his mustache gave him away. I raised my eyebrow at him and that was when he lost his control. He started laughing as he stood up. "Alright, alright. I'll let that one go. But don't expect me to continually be easy on you for those comments, Bells." He narrowed his eyes at me, but I saw the shine of humor show through.

He walked down the stairs with me right behind him. "Wouldn't expect you to, Dad."

*^3^*

The next day at school, I could barely keep myself together. I got looks of pity from the people that were also tortured daily by Lauren and her hag squad. Although, none of them wanted to approach me either. My morning classes flew by in a blur, only allowing me a few minutes to think about last night's phone call with Edward.

Of course, at lunch I had plenty of time to think about it. Sitting alone at my usual table towards the back of the cafeteria, I was able to watch him. He was sitting in between Jasper and Emmett, smiling at whatever they were talking about. I watched as Tanya Denali strolled up to the table and wiggled herself onto Edward's lap. Anger quickly boiled up inside me, and only got worse when he wrapped his arm around her waist. Why was I torturing myself with this? I didn't have to watch him 'pretend' to like Tanya. I didn't have to watch him kiss her cheek or squeeze her closer to him. But it was like a train wreck. You shouldn't watch, yet you can't seem to tear your eyes away from it.

I looked down at my barely touched lunch. I had promised Charlie to start eating. He was more observant than I ever gave him credit for. I sighed and picked up a carrot and took a bite out of it. My thoughts drifted back to Edward. As much as I wanted to force him to tell the world about us, I didn't know if I had it in me. Would I be able to handle the reactions from everyone at school? Would I suddenly become popular? Or would Edward's status fall as low as mine is?

"Is this seat taken?" I nearly fell out of my seat I jumped so high. I was so lost in my thoughts about Edward, I didn't even hear someone approach. I looked up to see who had spoken and I quickly realized I didn't recognize him. He was tall. And muscular. Tan, too. He had black hair that was cut short. Not quite short enough to be a buzz, but not too long either. His eyes were a dark brown, darker than mine. He wore blue jeans with a black t-shirt. If you could call it a shirt at all. It was so tight against his chest and arms, it looked like it might burst at the seams if he flexed at all. "Hello?" He waved his hand in front of my face, effectively breaking me out of my ogling.

I shook my head quickly. "No, it's not taken. You can take the seat wherever you'd like." I looked back down to my plate, picking at the chicken sandwich I hadn't taken a bite out of yet. I heard the scraping of the chair legs across the linoleum, and I assumed he was dragging the chair to another table. Imagine my surprise when I heard his tray hit the table top. My head snapped up to look at him as I narrowed my eyes. "What are you doing?"

He rose his eyebrow at me, questioningly. "Well, I'm sitting at a lunch table, getting ready to eat my lunch. You did say this seat wasn't taken, correct?"

I opened my mouth and closed it again without speaking. I nodded slightly, scrunching my brows together as I looked at him. "I meant, what are you doing sitting here?"

He chuckled softly and shook his head. "Well, it was either here or with all those brainless jocks. And I thought to myself, 'Why not sit with the girl who is all alone?'" He smirked at me as he took a big bite out of his sandwich.

I shook my head and looked back down at my plate. "You don't want to sit here with me. Trust me."

"Why's that?"

I hesitated. I don't know why, but I didn't want to tell him not to sit with me. It was nice to have someone to talk to at lunch rather than drown in my own thoughts. I sighed. I didn't want to subject him to what I went through every day though. I didn't want anyone else to feel like I did when I walked these halls. I looked back up to meet his eyes and I bit my lower lip gently. "Look, I don't know you. You still have a chance. Leave before Lauren and her crew of hags from hell decide you're my friend and make your life miserable here." I nodded towards the table that Edward was sitting at. "You look like the type of guy that would easily become friends with them." I looked back down at my plate. "Go before people think you are socializing with me."

I heard the scraping of the legs across the floor and sighed, not bothering to look up. I knew he would leave, it was just that I didn't know it would hurt. I mean, I didn't know the guy, why would it hurt when he walked away from me? I saw a tray be set down next to me out of the corner of my eye. I looked up quickly to see the guy that had just been sitting across from me. I pulled my brows together in confusion.

He chuckled as he sat down beside me. "I'm Jacob Black. Call me Jake, you're new best friend." He smiled a warm and welcoming smile that I couldn't help but return. He held out his hand towards me. I took it slowly. His hand was warm and I felt like I never wanted to let go.

"Isabella Swan. But only call me that if I'm in trouble. You can call me Bella." I smiled at him and for the first time in I don't know how long, it felt like a real smile.

He let go of my hand and his smile widened. He was now showing off how white his teeth were. They contrasted wonderfully against his russet colored skin. "It's very nice to meet you, Bella." He picked up his sandwich and looked at me out of the corner of my eyes. "You always eat lunch alone?" He took a bite at the end of his question.

I nodded slightly and picked up another carrot. "I do a lot of things alone, Jake." I bit into the carrot and turned to look at him. "Are you new here?"

He nodded and smiled around a huge bite of the chicken sandwich. "I used to go to school down on the reservation in La Push. But, since both my sisters are now graduated and it's just me and my dad at home, he said if I wanted to come here I could."

I shook my head. "Why would you change schools? Don't you have friends at your old school?" I finally took a bite of the sandwich I had been picking at all lunch.

He nodded. "Yeah, but there are more opportunities for college sports here." He smiled and wiped his hands on his jeans.

"What year are you that you're thinking about college? Are you a senior?" I highly doubted he was a senior. He didn't look like one that was for sure. He didn't look super young, but he didn't look old enough to go to college in less than a year.

"I'm a Junior." He smiled down at me. "What about you?"

"Me too." I smiled and looked up at the clock. "Shit. The bells about to ring. I have to stop at my locker before my next class." I stood up and looked down at him. "It was really nice talking with you, Jake."

He smiled up at me and nodded. "It was nice talking to you, Bella. If I don't see you before, I'll definitely see you tomorrow for lunch. Thank you for letting me sit with you."

I smiled brightly at him. "You're welcome." I turned from him, and carried my plate to the garbage. After I had dumped the contents remaining on it, I walked out of the cafeteria with a huge smile on my face.

Talking to Jake had significantly brightened my day. I felt like nothing could bring me down at that moment. Is it weird that he already had the effect on me? I mean, I just met the kid twenty minutes ago. I sighed as a got to my locker. I opened it up and smirked as I grabbed my biology book. If Edward had seen what happened in the cafeteria, it will make this next period interesting.

I walked into the biology room just as the first bell rang to signal end of lunch. I slid into my seat at the lab table, and started drumming my fingers. I tried not to watch the door for when Edward came in, but it's hard to miss when all you can hear is Tanya's giggling. He walked in with her dangling onto his arm. He smiled down at her his stupid half-smirk. I didn't want to watch anymore. I looked down at my hands and closed my eyes. The good feeling Jake had given me was starting to fade away. I took a deep breath and let it out and looked over when I heard his stool pull back across the floor. I caught his eyes and he smiled a wide, brilliant smile that lit up his entire face.

I tried returning it. I really did, but I knew it didn't meet my eyes. He opened his mouth to ask me what was wrong when Mr. Banner walked in. I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't know if I wanted to talk to him just yet. I turned to look at the front of the room where Mr. Banner was beginning his lesson. I head the rustle of paper being slid across the table and shot my eyes toward Edward as his hand retracted from a note sitting beside my notebook. I raised my eyebrow at him in question and he gave the note a pointed look as if to say 'Just read the damn thing'. I sighed and opened the note quietly, so we didn't get caught. I began to read.

**Who was that guy sitting with you at lunch? I didn't recognize him. **

I looked to him and shook my head before writing my reply and sliding it back to him.

**Why's it matter? It's not like you can tell me who I can and can't hang out with.**

He glanced at me and I saw the anger boiling underneath the surface. _Good. Suffer a little like I suffer every day._ He slid the note back to me and I sighed, realizing I wasn't going to get any notes on what Mr. Banner was talking about today.

**It matters because you are my girlfriend and I don't want you hanging out with other guys.**

My eyes widened to the size of saucers as my own anger began to boil. I hastily wrote him a reply. My hand was shaking so badly, I had no idea how he read it at all.

**Since when? Since when am I considered your girlfriend, Edward? You never talk to me in school unless you are making a crude comment. You don't want people to know we are dating. You have Tanya all over you every single day. And you are telling me I'm not allowed to have one friend? Just one? Fuck that, Edward! **

I handed him the note with five minutes left in class. With any luck, he wouldn't get his response down in time and I could walk out of here with the last word. But apparently my luck run out earlier when I met Jake because Edward slid the note back to me. His hand was shaking as he pulled it away.

**Bella, you know I can't control what Tanya does. She has a mind of her own. Of course I want you to have a friend. I just want to know who he is. I'm sorry, Bella.**

I looked up to him. He had a sad smile on his face and took my hand under the table. I froze almost immediately. He's never touched me at school unless it was us bumping into each other. The zinging sensation I felt when we touched rushed through my skin. I squeezed his hand back gently before looking back into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella. Really." He whispered. He looked around the room and when he realized no one was looking he brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed my knuckles gently. That was when the bell rang. He quickly dropped my hand and stood up off his stool. I bit my lip and looked down. "Bella." His voice made me look up at him. He was still keeping his voice low. "Is it okay if I come over after school? I don't have much homework and I wanted to spend a little time with you before Charlie came home." I couldn't find my voice so I just nodded dumbly, a smile slowly forming on my face. He chuckled softly. "Alright. I'll see you then, beautiful." He turned from me and walked out of the room.

I had to take a few seconds to gather my jumble of thoughts. I shook my head as I stood up and slipped the note into my book bag. I slung it over my shoulder and made my way slowly to the gymnasium. I was hoping if I was late enough, Coach Clapp wouldn't make me participate in volleyball today. I got my wish. When I walked into the gym, Coach Clapp eyed me and then said I could watch from the sidelines today. I smiled at him and walked up to the bleachers and took a seat.

When I looked around the gym floor, I saw Jake. I smiled towards him and when he caught my eye he smiled and waved to me. I returned his wave and then pulled my biology book and notebook out of my bag. I was just finishing going over the section Mr. Banner talked about in class when I realized I wasn't sitting alone. I nearly jumped out of my skin. Jake's low chuckles helped calm me, as well as him rubbing my back gently. "You know, I should make you wear a bell." I looked up to him, my hand still over my heart.

He threw his head back and laughed. I even giggled softly. Giggled! Me! Who knew I still had it in me? He shook his head and pulled his hand away from my back and instantly I missed his warmth. "That's not a bad idea. I don't mean to continually sneak up on you."

"It's okay. I wasn't paying any attention." I looked around the gym and I quickly stood up, stuffing my book and notebook into my book bag. "I have to go. I'm meeting someone at my house."

He nodded and helped me down the bleachers. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?" He was smiling, but I saw the hopefulness in his eyes.

I smiled what I hoped was a warm smile. "Of course. Lunch, remember?"

His face instantly lit up and I couldn't help but feel good knowing I made him feel that way. "Right. How could I forget? I'll see you tomorrow, Bella!" He turned and jogged to a rather nice looking Rabbit in the parking lot.

I smiled and made my way to my truck and slid in. After stalling twice, she roared to life and I shook my head smiling. _Was there any way this day could go better?_ I smiled when I pulled into my driveway and saw Edward standing on the front porch. _Yeah, it could. _

His car wasn't anywhere in sight, but it usually wasn't. He didn't like the idea of getting caught, so he always parked it down the road and then walked here. I took a moment to calm my nerves before I got out of my truck. When I walked up to him, I was smiling. He instantly returned the smile and pulled me to him by my waist. "Hey, beautiful." He bent his head and pressed his lips to mine.

I couldn't help the smile that played across my lips. "Hey to you, too." I mumbled against his lips.

He chuckled breathlessly and pulled back slightly. "You going to let me inside, or am I going to have to break the door down?"

I giggled and pulled away from him to dig out my keys. As I slid the key into the door, I heard him tapping his foot. "Little impatient, aren't we?" I laughed as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, carrying me into the house. "Edward!" I smacked his back continuously. "Put." Smack. "Me." Smack. "Down!" Smack. He laughed and shut the door and then set me on my own two feet. "You jerk!" I tried sounding upset, but my smile gave me away.

"Awe, you know you can't resist this charm." He flashed me his award-winning half smirk and I shook my head.

"Watch me." I turned from him, still sporting my smile, when he grabbed my hips and pulled me back into him.

His voice, huskier than usual, was right at my ear when he whispered, "I love when you walk. Your hips sway from side to side." He emphasized this by swaying our hips. I closed my eyes and leaned back against him. He kissed my neck gently, running his fingertips over my hips. "Come on, baby." He picked me up bridal style, effortlessly. I looked up and got lost in his green eyes. He never took them off mine as he climbed the stairs and laid me down in my bed. I bit my lip as he laid down beside me. I cuddled into his side. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist as I tangled my legs with his.

"Edward?" I asked tentatively. I had spoken just above a whisper. I wasn't sure if he had heard me.

"What is it, baby?" He kissed the top of my head and I closed my eyes.

I didn't want to ask him anymore. He was being sweet and kind to me. He was being the Edward that I was first attracted to. He wasn't being that fake person I saw every day in school. And I didn't want to make the real him go away. I sighed and looked up to him, placing a soft kiss on his jaw. "Why won't you tell anyone about us?" I watch as his eyes hardened. He was putting up his walls. "No. Don't shut down on me. I just, I don't understand. Is it because of your reputation? Is it because you don't think your friends will like you anymore if you're dating me?" My voice broke at the end of my questioning, but I didn't break my gaze. I continued to look him in the eyes as mine began to fill with tears. "Please, just tell me why." I whispered because I was afraid my voice would crack again.

He waited what felt like an eternity, but really I'm sure it was only a few minutes before he let out a breath. "Bella, I don't want to talk about this." I sighed and shook my head. "Why does it matter? Aren't you happy with me?"

I looked away from his eyes. "Of course, I'm happy with you. I just want the whole school to know you are happy to be with me, too." I hesitantly looked back to him and I saw his walls were up. There would be no getting them back down tonight. "Edwa-"

He sat up abruptly, almost forcing me off the bed. "I should go. Charlie will be home soon." I looked at the clock and saw it was only 4:30. Charlie wouldn't be home for another hour. Edward knew that, too. He just wanted to get away from me. I just nodded at him. I couldn't trust my voice at that point. He sighed so quietly, I tried to convince myself I had imagined it. He put a finger under my chin and made me look at him. "I'll call you tonight, okay?" I nodded, again. He bent down and pressed his lips firmly to mine. "I'll talk to you later, Bella."

As he walked to my door, I did nothing but watch him. He turned to look at me one more time. He was smiling gently, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. I bit my lip and looked down. He opened my bedroom door and walked out, leaving it open. I closed my eyes and laid back on my bed.

_Okay, so just because today didn't start or end that great, doesn't mean it wasn't a good day…_

Ah, who am I kidding?

*^3^*

Edward POV

Seeing her with that new kid made me feel things I didn't even know I could still feel. I mean, I haven't felt those rush of emotions in so long. I was pissed off that she was even talking to another guy. Jealous because he could sit next to her without a second thought. While I had to sit here, with Tanya fucking Denali in my lap and my loud ass friends beside me. I almost lost my cool and stormed over to her when he moved to sit beside her. She was _my _girlfriend. Not his. I held onto Tanya's waist tighter, trying to calm myself down. She took that opportunity to try and kiss me. I pulled my head away and stood up, knocking her to the floor on her ass.

"Edward!" She practically screeched at me. I shook my head and mumbled an apology and sat back down. She maneuvered back into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I almost rolled my eyes… almost.

When the bell finally rang, I started walking to biology. A smile was already on my face because I knew I would see Bella. Tanya was still holding onto my arm for dear life and apparently I said something hilarious to her because when we walked into the bio room, she was giggling. I shook my head and pulled my arm away from her. Then I looked towards Bella. Her head was down.

I sighed and walked over, pulling my stool out and sitting on it. When she looked at me, I knew my face lit up. She tried returning the smile, but I knew it was half-assed. When Mr. Banner walked in, I decided I needed to know who she was sitting with at lunch. We exchanged notes for most of the period and then I invited myself over after school.

When school finally let out, I couldn't wait any longer. I drove immediately to her house. After parking and waiting what seemed like forever, I heard her dump of a truck roaring down her drive way. I smiled and pulled her into me when she walked up.

I enjoyed her company. I loved laying with her in my arms, but she always seemed to ruin it by asking that stupid question. I didn't want to tell her why we couldn't go public. I couldn't tell her my fears.

I left quickly after that. I didn't want to be around her, because I knew the longer I stayed the more likely it would be I would tell her. I couldn't do that. Not yet anyway. We just had to wait until June. When I turned eighteen. Then I could tell her everything.

I didn't realize I was driving towards my aunt and uncle's house until I was in their driveway. I sat behind the wheel for a while, refusing to get out. I had just ran out on Bella yet again. I groaned and scrubbed at my face roughly trying to get the picture of her hurt expression out of my head. I didn't want to think about how much it hurt her to hide like we were.

I was startled by a tapping on my window. I tried relaxing my breathing when I saw Aunt Esme standing on the other side, smiling sheepishly. I attempted to smile back at her while I took the keys out of the car and then opened the door slowly so I wouldn't hit her. As soon as I was out of the car, her arms were tight around me. "Hey, Esme."

She pulled back and took my face in between her hands. Her eyes were wide as they searched my face. "Edward, is everything alright?" I nodded slightly, trying to keep the smile on my face. "Stop lying to. I'm no doctor like your uncle, but I'm not stupid." The corner of her mouth went up into a small smile. I found my own smile becoming more genuine. "That's better. Now. What's wrong?"

I shook my head and pulled her hands off of my face. "Come on, Aunt Esme. Can't we go inside first? I can feel how cold your hands are." I let go of her hands and started towards the house. When I walked inside, I immediately made my way to the kitchen for something to eat. I started rummaging through the cupboards. I came across a bag of Whoppers and smiled to myself.

"So." Esme's voice made me jump and almost drop the bag of Whoppers. I turned and looked to her. Her voice had been hard. It wasn't something I was used to. She always sounded caring and loving, never like this. "When are you going to tell the poor girl the truth?" My eyes widened to the point I thought they were going to bug out of my head. "What? Like I don't notice the difference in your attitude lately?"

I was at a loss for words. "What? There's no girl. What are you talking about?" I denied. I had to deny.

"Whatever you say Edward." She uncrossed her arms and walked across the kitchen. "Are you staying for dinner?" She was looking through the fridge as she spoke.

"No, Esme. I should be getting home anyway." I headed towards the door and paused when she called out my name. I turned to look at her.

Her face was etched in worry. "Please, just, don't shut us out, okay? Carlisle and I are here for you whenever you need us." I nodded and opened my arms. She hugged me tightly.

"I know, Esme. I know. I promise I won't. I'll come by tomorrow after football practice, okay?" She nodded against me and I pulled away. "Love you." I smiled what I hoped looked like a real smile.

"Love you to the moon and back." She smiled and pecked my cheek and pushed me out the door. "Go, then."

I smiled and walked to my car, pausing to look back at her before getting in. I started my Volvo up. She purred as I backed into the street and made my way to home. As I pulled into the driveway, I was greeted by a dark house and empty driveway. I shook my head and got out, walking up to the front door and unlocking it. After I was inside and took a deep breath and flipped on some lights before pulling my phone out. I had some texts from Emmett and Jasper, both asking me what I was doing this weekend. I ignored those and called Bella's phone.

She didn't answer right away. Usually after a ring or two, I hear her beautiful voice. Not tonight. I got her voicemail and sighed, closing my phone. I walked up to my bedroom. Too exhausted to change out of my clothes, I flopped onto the bed. My phone was vibrating in my hand, and I almost didn't answer it. But the thought that it might be Bella calling me back convinced me otherwise. "Hello?" I said, having answered without looking at the I.D.

"Hi…" Her voice was soft and timid. I knew I had made her that way. She was probably scared I was going to blow up on her.

"Bella, baby, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just walked out like that…" My voice trailed off. I didn't know how upset she had been because I left.

"No, Edward. I-"She cut off quickly and it sounded like she covered the speaker and then I heard her muffled voice. When she spoke again, her voice was low. "Edward, I have to go. I'm with someone right now and I can't really talk."

I tried to hide my disappointment when I answered her. "It's alright. I'll just, talk to you later."

I heard her let out a breath. "I'm sorry."

"No, Bella. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm letting you go now." I hung up without saying goodbye. I closed my eyes and clenched my fist. Who could she possibly be with right now? If she was with Charlie, she could have easily got away from him to talk. If she wasn't with Charlie, who was she with?

I needed to stop before I overthink anything. I sighed and plugged my phone in. I laid my head onto my pillow and closed my eyes. Sleep didn't come to me easily. I spent half of the night wondering who Bella had been with until finally, the exhaustion won out and I slept without dreams.

**Author's Note: Just stopping her to let everyone know, I only had the first two chapters pre-written. I'm going to try and do an update at least every Friday! A see a lot of people are following this, please, please, please! Leave a review! I love hearing what you think about what happened or what you think will happen next! Good and bad, I accept reviews all the same! Thanks for reading! See ya'll next week!**


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